I think that Adam’s finally given up on me. I’ve not heard from him in a week, and last week he was asking me how much the cactuar bag would be worth if he sold it. I’m kind of mad at him for considering selling it.
It’ll be better without him, I think.
Today when I got into work, the dish soaking bucket was bright blue (dyed by the indicator bromophenol blue). The undergrads say they know nothing about it, so I’ve got a mystery on my hands.
Still anxious, but the anti-depressants are helping me function. That and Netflix.
Went to the psychiatrist today. Got anti-depressants. Hopefully they’ll shut up the anxiety enough that I can go to work without feeling like a raw nerve all the time.
I haven’t needed them for four years. There were times, when I was a teacher, that I should’ve been on them, but I hated doctors there more than I wanted to be ok.
So in a month I’ll be a functioning person again. That’ll be nice.
I feel like I’ve been being an asshole to everyone over the last two months. I’m sorry. I’ll be better soon.
I had off today. Adam also had off today, so he invited me over to hang out. So I did.
anxious jen has turned into numb jen.
oh and Adam has decided to talk to me again. Why do we even bother? What’s the point?
My body it’s acting like when I was a teacher and I could only eat peanut butter crackers. I need a break. And to not have people pulling at me for a few days.
But then this morning, I was like: “Just fucking get over it Jen, you don’t have time to stop”.
Blargh anxiety blargh.